Real Men Don't Need Armor

Rummy Swarmed by Anxious Moms…

A hypothetical debate viewed from an Impenetrable Bubble Fueled by Arrogance…


Rummy: Armor? Armor? You want Armor? Do you know what that means? We’ll have to cut back on the precision ammunition being supplied in places like Texas…or possibly cut down on our contracts with those independent contractors who support our troops…

Mom #1: You mean those people who sell our wounded soldiers their lunch, sleep in first class hotels and get paid about ten times what our average GI gets paid…
But give me a specific reason why you are not reimbursing soldiers for their bullet proof vests, Mr. Secretary?…

Rummy: Well, it’s not that we wouldn’t want to, but everybody thinks we’re made of money. Do you have any idea of how many bills we receive during the course of each month? It’s enough to bring tears to your eyes……

Mom #2: Well, I would think that sending healthy boys and girls to Iraq without proper protection should bring tears to your eyes; not invoices! And I don’t think that should have anything to do with reimbursing our troops for the money they laid out.

Rummy: Did we tell them to? They did it on their own didn’t they? I mean there’s was no real compulsion. We didn’t put twist their arms or put their thumbs into screws did we now?

Mom #3: But you people weren’t delivering them what they needed for adequate protection……

Rummy: Oh, so now, you’re going to be picky, too….It’s not enough that we feed them and provide a shelter for their heads; now you expect perfection….

Mom #3: I don’t think I’m asking for anything out of the ordinary…

Rummy: Oh you don’t think so? Would you deny that this generation is the most spoiled generation on record. That they expect everything to be done for them…
What about taking a little initiative like our founding fathers? Would that be asking too much?….

Mom #2: May I remind you that we’re not talking about our founding fathers but modern warfare…

Rummy: Sure, turn them into babies… Make it so that they can’t stand on their own two feet. Do you know when I was young, I had to walk five miles to school. Did anybody care?

Mom #3 : Yeah, I know. In rain, snow and all kinds of weather. Right, Abe?. I don’t think we’re here to discuss your personal deprivation; we’re here to talk about our sons and daughters who have given so much and have received so little…

Rummy: Don’t be disrespectful madam…. You may find your status as a free citizen being investigated.

Mom #1: Mr. Secretary, in case you didn’t know, we don’t have a draft?

Rummy: That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t have one…does it? Every self respecting macho country has a draft…It’s these weak-kneed liberal types who keep us from fulfilling our moral obligation as the world’s leaders… Isn’t it your obligation as a mother to produce children who can stand up and serve their country?…

Mom: Like all of your Republican compatriots, I presume?

Rummy: The Republicans have had more important ways to serve their country…

Mom #1: Yeah, like taking fishing trips to Wyoming; or cavorting down at the ranch. Why isn’t the government protecting our troops? Answer me that?.….


Rummy: We are. We protect them with million dollar tanks; we provide bombs at thousands of dollars apiece. Our newest jets cost 300 million dollars. Are you aware of that, Mrs. Private Citizen?

Mom #3: That’s because you allowed all of your friends to merge and combine so there are fewer of them left to compete on government contracts. And you can thank your president and the rest of his friends on the Carlyle Group for facilitating those outrageous costs. But what has that to do with paying for a little armor protection? .

Rummy: Ah, you Americans make me sick! Always whining. . You want your government to take care of everything…We do our best. Look, do you see me wearing fancy new clothes…I give everything I have to protect our boys. But does anyone appreciate what I try to do. Does anyone say thank you, Mr. Secretary, for giving us a nice clean war. Do you realize that our boys have a nice dry tent to return to, air conditioning, three square meals a day. Did they have that in the Civil War? Hell no! And what do I get from you and all of those like you: grief! Grief! I wish we had it this good when I was serving God and country…

Mom #1; Oh, does this guy ever give it a break?

Rummy: What? What? Are you saying something…Speak up, Ms. I have a disability….

Mom: Yes, you’re right: You’re too disabled to hear the truth…

Hang on, Ma’m….This is an important call! Hey, general, didn’t I tell you I wanted mustard on my Rubin; not that bloody red sauce…Now, what was it you were saying, Lady?

Mom #2: I’m leaving and I’m suing you and the whole damn Pentagon for neglect and abuse and failure to abide by the wishes of the American people. How do you like them apples...

Rummy: What did you say, ma’m? Okay, she’s left. Okay, general, let’s get back to warfare. Flip on the Rangers game, general…..and then let’s dig in…



Les aaron