A Holiday Gift That Keeps On Giving...

"Bombs Are Us"

Tired of seeing those American GI’s trudging around in your neighborhood
Trying to protect you and your family!

Want to get back to the good ole’ days of chaos and mayhem under your beloved
Saddam…

You can support the war this holiday season!...

Come to Bombs Are Us, the only superstore that deals in destruction.
Need to blow up a holiday tree? Want to create fireworks in your backyard,
tired of your mother-in-law? Or do you have bigger fish to fry?
You might want total destructive power for
any of a hundred reasons and we are here to comply...

Now, see our new Holiday line of explosive belts filled with the latest Decorator line of nails and tacks. These babies really make a mess! And you can use them anywhere... And get rid of your
Nagging wife at the same time…

Take advantage of this special: Buy any two of our decorative explosive belts, the Xmas models, and you automatically earn a discounted ticket to your choice of cities in the Middle East. Or if you already live in the Middle East, our special includes a discounted babaganoush and hummus buffet with belly dancing included at all Hymie’s Camel Hitch throughout the Middle East…

All kits come complete with Martyr poster, sacrificial shrine and pay-off from Middle Eastern potentate after completing the form and listening to the free included tape from bin Laden.
Includes additional free training from your radicalized Mullah or cleric and a letter of encouragement from your choice of Saudi princes…

Come one! Come All....

And that's only the beginning. Thanks to American, Russian and Chinese aid to the Middle East, we can now provide a full range of missiles and weapons at discounted prices specially decorated for this occasion..... Choose your special weapon of choice with customized message at no additional cost:

Messages Available Include:

“You think we are dumb dirty Arabs. Take this, sucker!”

“A Pox On Arnold, the American trouble-maker…How big is he now against our great weapons?”

“Kiss my big Arab behind”

“Go home Yanqui via Trans Arab Airways”

“Roses are red, violets are blue
Mess with us Arabs
And we’ll blow up you up, too…”

Or choose your own message. Special Arabic scribes are standing by to decorate your missile with your own personal message…Act now….Call: 1 800 323 454 892 992 422 071…. A special message to support National Dialysis Week was pre-recorded by bin Laden for your personal edification.


For the holiday, you can procure two deadly missiles for the price of one on our Twofer for Destruction Special...

What's more, it doesn't end there...

Beginning today, you can buy an American bullet proof vest that may not meet American standards but is perfectly good for any of our friends through-out the middle east.

The beauty of this baby can be best appreciated by those who are seeking martyrdom.
Don one of these vests and pretend you are protected as a round knocks you into the land of Vestial Virgins and "good times." Yes, your trip to the next world can be made easier in the belief that you are being protected when you are not.

Want to learn more? Simply contact our Baghdad field representative or any of the representatives of our company through-out the Middle East.

And enjoy the holiday season as if it were your own with any of the thousands of weapons from your friends in Russia, China and the US available now for the first time at totally discounted holiday prices...

Les Aaron