"Give Me Two Reasons Why New Jersey Is Different..."

And now for somethng completely different....New Jersey:

There are two things that differentiate New Jersey from the rest of the country and I don't mean Tony Soprano... Nor is it true that other states don’t have these things, only in New Jersey they are somehow, how shall we put it… different.

I
If I have piqued your curiosity, so much the better. Actually, what I am referring to is not our chemical industry or the New Jersey Turnpike…but something as prosaic as what is referred to as “traffic circles.” To the best of my knowledge, I don’t ever recall seeing something called a traffic circle until I moved to New Jersey. Traffic circles are bigger, rougher and certainly more intimidating in New Jersey than just about anywhere else. If you can navigate a traffic circle in New Jersey, you can navigate them anywhere. Ask Tony…

And the second thing that makes New Jersey different? Are you ready? Diners. New Jersey is the undisputed home of the diner. I’m not kidding. They are bigger in New Jersey, there are more of them and they are flashier.
.

Diners to New Jersey people are not just amalgams of steel and aluminum; they are a way of life. I would dare any New Jersey person to try to get through a week without paying a trip to a diner. It is impossible.

On the other hand, we all have our little stories. One fo my good friends, for example, ate dinner every night of his married life at a diner. I wouldn’t recommend it but you have to agree that’s a sort of loyalty you won’t see too often today.

Why are diners seem so popular today? And how come they have not just fizzled out? .I mean they are kind of associated with the dust storms of the 30’s and the Depression more than anything else. And for the most part, they were just ugly little squat boxes without much sex appeal. But it turns out that wasn’t quite true. They were so different and so ugly, they developed a kind of panache. I've come to the conclusion, it's not just the food that makes diners what they are but it’s everything else. In effect, for many, they have become “the hood.” By that I mean, the diner is a place where people tend to converge and seek out each other. And it is the most democratic of public places. Whether you're big or small, you get treated pretty much the same. It’s the place where you refresh relationships, where you find out what’s going down, who’s around and who’s left. In short, it is small talk central. And for no other reason, you got to love it for that.

I used to see Danny Aiello and his family all the time at a diner on Rte 17 near the New York state border. He was a big star but he still ate in the same place...
At the other end of the spectrum, I would find this low end Mafia hood, Jimmy P. who sold me my kid’s first high chair after it fell off the truck if you get my drift. Jimmy would heist anything that wasn’t tied down. You could even place an order with him indicating colors, quantities and style. He’s still out there presumably up to his dark and dirty tasks but he still gets his coffee and roll at the local diner in Elizabeth...

It doesn't matter whether you're rich, poor, or black or green, you always wind up at a diner at least once a day even if its for a cup of java and a danish. If you don’t, people start to worry. Is the old boy under the weather? Should we send someone over to his house to check on him? See what I mean it’s a neighborhood.

Do you remember the original diners?. They used to look like little tin cans. They would a waitress who always looked the same and one of those old-fashioned Wurlitizers but the food was always hot and it was always good! And they always served it without a half hour wait. In the summer, I came to love diners. That’s because when I was off from school, I was out there helping my dad in his business.
We used to eat lunch every day at a diner. And it didn’t matter which one we went to the food was good and it was hot.

Most of my first dates wound up in diners, too. And sometimes a chilling experience or two. For example, a gal sitting behind me in class, Trudy, mistakenly thought that I had said something about her which I hadn’t and she threatened that her little brother would come and get me.

I didn’t think too much about it until me and a crony were sitting in the local diner by the RKO Keiths in Richmond Hill eating a slab of pie at 2:00 AM when all of a sudden I felt this huge shadow fill the small diner and blocked out the light. This monster sat down next to me and ordered eight hamburgers in a voice that seemed to come from the bottom of the earth. Of course, this had to be Trudy’s “little” brother.
Fortunately, he didn’t know me and I didn’t know him but just the thought of him was enough to provoke stomach spasms. As it turned out, eventually he and I became fast friends and it was too bad that he got thrown out of high school on his second day for knocking over all of the book cases and doing a few other assorted things considered politically incorrect.

The diner was also where I used to hang out with Mehmet, the former Turkish captain in the frogmen who had moved to Richmond Hill. One evening, his fiancé came in and unceremoniously proceeded to read him the riot act and drop her ring into his drink. I don’t know what he did but I had to commend Mehmet, he continued to drink from the glass with the ring in it as if she weren’t there. Later, after he left, he acknowledged to me that he was moving to Hollywood to see about getting into films. I don’t know if he ever made a film but I never saw him again.

During the service, I used to hang out in a 24 hr. diner with some of the Air Command crew and sip our own doctored up Irish coffee and write Beat poetry and talk about everything under the sun. No group was ever thicker and the diner had a lot to do with it.

When push comes to shove, in my mind the diner has it all over some of these fancy new restaurant chains where they can never get their act together and half the time, the food tastes all the same. No, sir. For my money, I will take my chances on the old fashioned diners and 9 times out of 10 I will get a better meal.

I always used to wonder how in Lord's name could they make so many things and get them to come out together at the same time and taste good.

I think it has something to do with the ownership. All diners seemed to be owned by Greek families and they are all related. I don't think I ever saw a diner owned by anyone else. And although they may not speak good English, they are all run like a smoothly oiled machine...

Another thing I noted, that a lot of the kids are getting out. They don't want to do the same thing that their parents did all their lives. So, they go to school and learn something else. That's the American way.

Nevertheless, while we’re in the midst of these changes, I can still go in for pancakes and sausages, pea soup, burgers and french fries, macaroni, flounder prepared either stuffed or baked, and most of the rest of the stuff on the menu and pay a reasonable price and come out full like I ate at a fancy restaurant.
Thanks to a diner, you don’t even have to be married; you can enjoy freedom and privacy if that’s your interest…

And for the most part, the diners are fancy today. New designs, fancy steel glistening all around, new decor lighting, comfortable booths, and all of the rest.

Yes, diners have come a long way--especially in New Jersey and they never cease to fascinate me. That's why, according to Rose, I have been in virtually every diner up and down the east coast.

i think she's exaggerating a bit but when they do those gangster movies, I can usually name the diner they're sitting in when they're planning to take out Joey or some such nefarious venture.

And, of course, being in sales, we would make the rounds of all the eating places.
And that’s another gripe that I have. Today, when you make an appointment with a kid, you're usually bringing in sandwiches to share at the desk and he's drinking iced tea.

We've sunk a long way. Most of my clients would go to those places that had bars and it was six or seven martinis later that we left. When I first started out in business, lunch was such a big deal that if you didn’t have a luncheon appointment, you lost three hours during the day…. Now, it’s work, work, work and no fun.

Still, I miss them and all of the associations that i gathered over the years.
I think about all of the guys and gals I used to go to diners with and they aren't around any longer.

Anyway, just so I don’t get rusty, I have already scouted out the diner where my daughter lives and they make a pretty decent Reuben and when I’m there, I can’t help but give a nod and a wink to the old ghosts of my past.

And thank the diner for all it’s meant to me over the years!

Best wishes for a happy holiday!
Les Aaron