Wanted Dead or Alive

Beware The Bovine

The Most Dangerous
Animal of All
Is Not an animal
With a scary call,
It is not a moose
Or a warrior goose

It is not an elephant
With an attitude
Or something that
Flies at a higher altitude,
It is not small or mean
Or even a “killing machine”


No, it’s kind
And considered benign
And not inclined to make
A row,
What we refer to
Is the lowly cow

Although it has no evil past
The lowly cow
Emits an awful gas
That raises temperature by degrees
Affecting species
And bringing disease

But what has the environmentalists
Really swarming
Is what the lowly cow
Can contribute to global warming
Some might think it’s cow’s
Getting even…
For man’s gourmandizing
At the expense of reason

Although regarded as a source of
Food
Very kindly and not too smart,
Man chooses to ignore the fact
That beef is the antithesis of
A healthy heart…
Milk, too, is cast in a pall
Because it contributes
To cholesterol


The irony is
That the steaks we cannot live without
Are implicated in everything bad
From heart disease to the gout!

So the lowly cow
Get’s our undisputed vote
As the creature
Noah should have
Left off the boat…

And whether or not
We care to disguise
Global warming’s effect
On things like water’s rise
We should rethink
Whether growing volumes of methane
Will turn us into the “missing link”

So, enjoy your steaks while you may
While vegans continue to pray
That animals may go their way
Unthreatened by our display
Of gourmet cookbooks and appetizing menus
That should be excluded from man’s venue

Our advice: If you truly hunger for a snack
We urge you to ignore your Mac
And replace it with something green
That is increasingly looking palatable
Considering that the alternative
Is creating a planet no longer habitable

Les Aaron