Imagine: Primaries as an Alien Might See Them

Every wonder how “they” might see it?

If you saw “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” you’d know what I was talking about.

Poor Michael Rennie was trying to level with us all along; but we didn’t get it.

Do we get it now?

The question: How would other extraterrestrials think about what we were doing on our planet.

Would it be worth studying? Worth thinking about?

Or would they deem us hopeless and send in the robots to start life over again on this planet?

To assess this, let’s consider just our Primary which was watched intently by most of the world.

To them, a Primary might seem like a good excuse for one “Earthling” to say bad things about another “Earthling.”

To them, they might think it’s odd that gender and color seem to be such a big deal.

Imagine outsiders viewing our Primary.

If they didn’t know any better, they might even believe that these were the defining priorities of our Election:

Something called “Surges” would be right up there at the top of the pecking order.

After all, that’s about all John McCain has to say.

It would seem to strangers, no doubt, that Surges are things you do when you’ve botched everything else up. And a “Surge” can be used to mean anything.

Military decisions? Well, it seems from the face off’s that there are two points of view: One is the importance of winning; the other, how fast can we get out of there.

And if that doesn’t get our “visitors” perplexed, there is always the second topic, of course, something called “fuel” that allows us to go from one place to another.

This is critical because if you can’t go from one place to another cheaply enough, it’s time to blame the democrats. Don’t ask why? That’s just the way it is.

And an entire election could turn on that.

These ‘visitors’ might also be shaking their heads because as anyone can see the policy makers have contributed to making Earth a good place to leave. Our NASA group, it seems, will have no shortage of volunteers to test out Mars—our nearest neighbor.

And our Visitors might have a good laugh over that one….

They would have to be wondering how even an animal, much less people, could befoul their nests as much as we do our environment.

The third topic that would leave them reeling of course is the matter of our “nests” or domiciles. They would undoubtedly have trouble understanding why those who arranged for people to buy these domiciles at unrealistic rates knowing full well that they would lose them, would be shored up the government, while those people taken advantage of by the system are virtually ignored.

It must seem to them that our government supports illegal actions and awards those who are guilty of them.

These and other observations might trouble a “visitor” to our Earth.

They might even begin to wonder how we, the richest country on our planet, treats its needy and its aged, while countries less well insulated seem to show compassion in their concern and care for those less fortunate.

They might also wonder why we persist in our war-mongering attitudes knowing full well that wars bleeds a country of its assets and its resources.

They might also question why we seem so diametrically opposed to discussing our differences with our neighbors and so willing to go to extremes with weaponry to wipe them off the face of the planet.

They might also wonder why the richest of nations exports scrap and imports manufacturing goods to the tune of a 55 billion dollar deficit monthly or why we buy from a store that only sells us products that are made by slave labor or prisoners and may not be clean or healthy when we could build those same products better ourselves.

And before they leave they might ask themselves why if this nation is so great, we have so many diseases that are advertised on our TV’s and why there are different views on Restless Leg Syndrome and four hour erections that only the doctor can address.

And why we accept products where you have to read the small print not to poison yourself.

Such confusion could only cause them to speed up the return leg of their journey.

The Armchair Curmudgeon
Les Aaron