Truth in Snooping

What Government Snooping Tells Us


We had miscalculated according to the government.

It is not true that there are only a handful of terrorists out there as we had been led to believe and that's why nothing's been done to make sure that our first responders can communicate with each other or to protect the ports or assure us that when we get on a train going from DC to Boston, we're not going to be blown up.

But now we know that that original assessment has been undone!

The truth is, as we've just learned, more like 100 million terrorists who are ready to reign down death and destruction on Americans.

At least that is what the government would have us believe from the number of telephones that we are listening in on--without telling us..

If they've been listening to my phone, they probably heard me talking to my cousin in Beverly Hills who until 2000 was one of the biggest Republican fund-raisers. She told me over the phone that she and her extended family are not backing Bush. "They can't stand him and think he is stupid." Wow! They would have nailed us over that conversation. Or they might have caught me some time back talking to my friend who was a spokesperson and witness for all of the American libraries that stood against informing on those who take out books! Those librarians deserve our highest honors! And if they caught that conversation, I am sure that they would have sent me away to some God forsaken place where they could torture me to give away my bibliographies. Or they might even have concluded that my conversations with my Canadian friends and family had to do with a plot to overthrow the American government when in reality most of the time we were only talking about my niece who sings for a Canadian rock band and is getting married in Toronto this Fall.

If there are 100 million terrorists who threaten America that would seem
to throw all the previous numbers out of whack!

Consider we've already been told that there were some 10,000 terrorists in Iraq. That would make Iraq a heck of a lot safer place than say Iowa where who knows how many stand ready to attack us or poison our waters. (Hey, we don't have to wait for them to do it, our own government is doing a pretty good job.).

According to those numbers, there are four times as many terrorists within our own borders than there are in all of Iraq. In fact, if we invaded any country, we should have invaded America. Since there are 100 times more terrorists in America than there are in all of Afghanistan!

And, then why would we bother sealing our borders--we would be sealing them in--since they are already all here. Let's leave them a way to retreat!

If you consider the statistics, it becomes clear that one of three people in America are terrorists. That would translate into at least one terrorist per household.. Now, I know my immediate family there are no terrorists. In fact, some in my family work at fighting terrorists.

So that means that there are at least one other extended family out there that must have every other one as a terrorist if we need to come up with a tally of 100 million. Like I said, that's an awful lot of terrorists. Too bad they all didn't dress like Jack Abramoff, we could pick them up in a hurry. Only, Jack Abramoff worked for the other side. He was what Bush would have termed a patriot which means that patriots take money from the poor and give it to the rich so that they can vote Republican.


I'm sure if we checked with Homeland Security we would find out that all of those families do not include extreme right wingers who are too busy anyway working towards Armageddon to think about terrorism. And that would mean something like 20 million people we don't have to worry about..

If we probed carefully, I am sure that we would find that most of the terrorists have democratic or liberal roots. That of course would come from our Executive Division who would have said that they got that information directly from the CIA and they would fire Porter Goss twice--which is legal when you turn the Constitution inside out!

100 million terrorists is a lot of terrorists and aside from listening to them talk about the books they took out in the library; maybe we should do something. What next? Internment camps for the suspected people with liberal democratic roots who could be terrorists because they ordered Chinese take-out or once visited the middle East? Hey, wait a minute. I got it. We create this great threat from chickens and then set up quarantines so that we get to keep an eye on all those who we're already listening to. No, that's too crazy!

Les Aaron

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