Tomorrow's news today.

Item 1: "Da Vinci Code believers--"it's our bible now, they declare"--have formed an organized religion and vow to begin converting Catholics to the true gospel. The Pope issued a papal bull denouncing the new religion calling the book "The Da Vinci Code" a pretty hard line to swallow. After all, the Pope noted: "Christ's mother was a Jewish mother and no girl like Mary Magdalene would be good enough for her boy, Jesus!"

Item 2: When asked about the latest Fox News poll that shows his approval rating at 1%, president Bush admitted that he'd been canvassed by the pollsters and had been so confused by the question that he may have voted for disapproval of himself. "But, hey," said the president, "once the radiation wears off of Iran after the latest round of tactical nuclear strikes and the Iranis [sic] go to the polls, my ratings are bound to improve! "

All the News that Will Fit in Print

Cheers, TIB