Church Bulletins:

They're Back! Church Bulletins: Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

The Fasting &Prayer Conference includes meals.>

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:> "Searching for Jesus.">

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the> recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those> things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a> conflict.

emember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about> you.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious> pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery> downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help> they can get.

The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will> sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.> So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music> will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?"> Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several> new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.> Proceeds will be used to cripple children.


Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person> you want remembered.


The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and> gracious hostility.>>

-Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.-------------------------->
The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They maybe>> seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.>

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from> the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are> invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would> lend> him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the> back door.>> --

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church> basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this> tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.Please>> use large double door at the side entrance.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing> campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours"