How To Spend State of The Union Night Without Guilt...

Well, I won the neighbors' praise; They didn't have to call 911.

The dog was like a new person. He walked around proudly with his tail held high.

And I didn't foam at the mouth all night.

The reason: I didn't perform my democratic function. I did not watch bubble boy repeat what he's said for the last six years which was nothing! And I even learned something....

It is amazing how you can stretch nothing into an hour and a half and even more miraculous to realize that he's done that for five years now!

Never before have I heard so much talk about so little that benefitted us as a people.

We could have learned as much going to his shrink! /And we would have been better off!...

What this whole exercise is about is trying to justify all the mistakes of the past year, blame it on Democrats and hype your own party with empty tributes that go nowhere. By now, most folks with half a brain have figured it out and if you didn't want to go through the trouble of forcing yourself to stay awake, you could pick it up on the news journals in about one minute. After all, how long does it take to report on nothing!

All I can say is that if he's God's ear, God must be bored silly by now by this dumbell who prides himself on knowing nothing and then tries to tell us about it all the time...If I were God, I would be buying a one way ticket for La Jolla.

Anyway, I didn't kick the TV in and as a result, Rose made my favorite dinner when I don't feel like eating dinner which is breakfast served for dinner. And the neighbors were tickleld.

Plus, I didn't have to sweep up all the glass which is a pain in the neck and since I never get it all, there is always one little piece left in the carpet with my name on it that someday I know I am going to pick up in my foot....

What was really neat and gratifying from the experience was that
I even learned something. I learned how to make a Roman bath (Nova). Those Romans were pretty smart (but didn't last much more than what? 700 years?) and I learned that while we're talking about antiterrorism, Europe is actually dealing with it on a day to day basis.

I learned about the fact that the Wahabi sect has morphed into a new and dangerous sect called Safadism and they are the radicals who are associating themselves with a new Al Qaeda which seems to keep reinventing itself. These are the Arabs who eat pork and drink wine. Hard to spot in a crowd! It seems that this new movement inspired in Saudi Arabia (probably thanks to our oil money!) is well financed and committed to regaining all the land that the Arabs lost about the time of the Renaissance. These chaps want to return to the days when Africa controlled the known world through most of Spain and the middle east. But of course they want to do it the old fashioned way, through terrorism... Of course, what they don't remember was that that was in actuality a period of enlightment when all of the rest of europe was still in the dark ages; it was a time when everyone actually got along before the Arabs decided to blow up trains in Spain and kill innocent people in Turkey! yet, we're the butchers!

Then I listened to Bremer trying to explain why he wrote a book that explained his actions in Iraq that nobody wanted to read in the first place. It is one ofl those cathartic screeds that shouts out, "it wasn't me; it was the other guys!'

I turned on a couple of wrap-ups of the speech; I watched about two minutes on CNN which lost me right away!

And then I said the Hell with it, and went to bed with my latest detective story...and felt somehow vindicated.

Les Aaron