Reverse Darwinism from the Unintelligent Designer

Born Again Darwinism: The View From the Top

Les Aaron .

Follow up to George Bush’s recent interview
with a reporter regarding Intelligent Design
and our misunderstanding about Darwinian theory.

The following conversation was not reported in the mainstream media:


Reporter:“Mr. Bush, in listening to your arguments pro Intelligent Design, it would seem that you are substituting good science for religious interpretation.”

Bush: “Well, as I see it, Intelligent Design kind of does it all. For the first time, it allows scriptural thinking to unite with science. And isn’t that good for America?”

Reporter: “But, sir, there seems to be one thing you’ve omitted, sir.”

Bush: “And that is?...”

Reporter: “It overlooks Evolution.”

Bush: “Well, you can’t have everything. You know how it is (wink! Wink!). People are really starting to believe that stuff and we need to set the record straight.”

Reporter: “What stuff is that, sir?”

Bush: “That stuff about us being descended from monkeys. Whoever dreamed up that nonsense. Must have been a democrat!”

Reporter: “Well, that’s what Darwinian science suggests, Mr. President. And the proof would seem to bear him out.”

Bush: “That’s all hogwash! Take it from me, son, this Johnny Come Lately, Darwin, has been smoking too many of those funny cigarettes. We all know lthe truth. And it’s time that we owned up to it.”

Reporter: “And that is, sir?”

Bush: “Hey buddy, That ole boy snake put Eve up to some hanky panky…
And that’s why the storks bring the babies out to the cabbage patches late at night.
You know we all have to pay up for our misdeeds.”

Reporter: “I think you mixed a couple of metaphors here, sir, not too mention some old wives tails. .”.

Bush: “But you get the point.”

Reporter: “How do you, Mr. President, think this whole Intelligent Design thing got started.”

Bush: “It is clear as the nose on my face.”

Reporter: “What is?”

Bush: “We got that damn snake to thank for it.
He let the whole damn cat out of the bag in the Garden of Eden…”

“Reporter: ”I see, sir. But how would anyone know that was all part of Intelligent design?”.

Bush: ‘”Faith, son. You need to have faith.”

Reporter: “And how can you be so certain.”

Bush: “Well, I don’t like to brag but I got a little whispering in the ear going on.”

Reporter: “The Lord?”

Bush: “Hey, you said it not me; pretty good source, don’t you think?.”

Reporter: “Okay, sir. And that voice helped you to conclude that Darwin was wrong”.

Bush: “That Johnny come lately is so far off the mark it ain’t funny. Sure, the bottom line is people come from people; no monkeys, no crawly, hairy things involved. I got it from the top. ”

Reporter: “I see sir…”

Bush: “That’s what makes it intelligent, son.”

Reporter: “How do you propose, Mr. President to get that idea across when almost everyone has studied biology and believes in evolution?”

Bush: “How? By golly we’re doing something about it right now. We’re removing all the references to animals and people from all of the school books….”

Reporter: “God told you to do that?”

Bush: “No, Carl did.”



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