How They Got Howard

For years, I have studied on the impact of dirty tricks on the outcome of elections. I have followed Donald Segretti and am familiar with his mastery when it comes to making airports disappear from maps...I am familiar with the tactics orchestrated by Lee Atwater who had Willie Horton destroy the election for Dukakis. And his followers like Newt Gingrich, Graham, Armey and the rest of the right wing cabal who would sell their mothers down the river if there was any profit in it. ...Therefore, in the light of the travesties that these experts at media manipulation have participated in, I don't discount the following possibility which would seem very much in keeping with their willingness to spin the truth for their selfish ends....

les Aaron
Armchair Curmudgeon



Treating the Grassroots with Pesticides...

A Page From the Segretti Playbook

Satire by Les Aaron


The tactic worked He knew it would. After all, he and has staff were experts at the game. There was none better. Pros who knew how to rewrite the truth. Agile spinsters who had been plodding away it for the last thirty five years. And getting voters to think that ‘up’ was ‘down’ and ‘down,’ ‘up.’ It was all in the game. But there were players and there were masters of the craft. And he and his colleagues were the best money could buy. .

It was brilliant that Miller thought of it. Take the camera to the post-primary rally.
He knew something would come of it. Something that they could use. It was so easy.
Just edit it out of context. Change the sound. Block out the background. So simple even a child could do it. And it worked.

The people were already saying, “Dean the Madman.” “Dean the lunatic.” The media loved it. He knew they would. It was raw meat. And good for the ratings. But best of all, it sealed his fate. They would never support him now. And his work was mainly done.

All these ideology driven youngsters working their butts off for this guy. And, most importantly, those voters who didn’t give a crap what happened in politics. If they paid attention for two weeks it would be a lot. Yet, they considered themselves authorities.
The blow-hards always do, he thought. They were the targets, the multitudes who got their information from the networks and orchestrated sound-bytes. They were all vulnerable to what he and his colleagues could spin. And spin we did, he thought to himself.

Best of all, they, the great unwashed, the lemming voters who play follow the leader and get burned every time. They just don’t get it. They are so easy to manipulate. So vulnerable. We get them all patriotic by playing the war card. We get them fired up against France and Germany because they won’t play ball with us. We put a little powder in an envelope and they’re eating out of our hands. We’ve got them where we want them. And when they wake up and find everything gone, it will be too late.

Mike laughed to himself. What fools! But how would they know. They weren’t privy to the meetings. They don’t know what kind of people are out there. People who will stop at nothing to get their way. We are only facilitators, ‘enablers,’ he rationalized. Just businessmen doing what we do best.

It’s their fault; not ours. They just don’t understand what goes on. And don’t want to. Which opens the door for people like us to come in and shape the environment and the debate. . It’s what we do, he thought. So, they get what we deliver. We have the money, the resources and the morality of field mice. They don’t realize how little respect we have for any of them. And their liberal, progressive sensibilities.. And how we would sell out their mothers for a dime. It’s laughable, he thought.

Mike thought back about he and his cronies had effectively stopped the Florida recount by organizing mobs of people to storm election offices around the state. Little did the people or the media realize that they were in our employ. Hired trouble-makers to do our bidding. Nor did they realize how foolish we were able to make Dukakis look when he donned that helmet and climbed into the tank. Or how we managed to put the gay issue on the table when Clinton got elected. Little did folks realize that Hillary was right. ‘It was a conspiracy.’ Nor did anyone realize how we made Senator Muskie look like a cry-baby when he was making his bid for the White House. How often do you get paid for having fun at somebody else’s expense.

No, nobody realizes that Atwater was a genius at setting up the apparatus for manipulating and controlling the media, Mike thought. The Democrats never knew what hit them. Yeah, Atwater was world-class. But what would you expect? Didn’t he learn from the master, Segretti. Segretti who could make airports disappear. Reinvent geography. Change schedules, lose speeches, cancel media engagements and do the thousand and one other things to derail all of his boss Nixon’s challengers. He made it look not only easy but fun.

Yet, nobody figured it out! ….Too bad, the dems are so naïve. It takes something away from the good times Mike thought as he lifted the paper cup of coffee to his lips.

Now, with Dean out of the way, it should be clear sailing through the election. After all, the other guy was an insider and any insider leaves a big foot-print. Time to move on, he thought.

Mike reached into his pocket and picked up the miniature mobile phone and dialed a number known only to him. “Mark, it’s me.
We’re finished down here. Got anything else for me to take care of? Oh, really? Sound’s good. Yeah, I’ve got a valise all packed. I’ll meet you later. A bonus? Well, that’s very generous of you and the committee…”

Les Aaron
Editor, Hubgram