Bush & the Alien Fridge

Alien lands at White House…


“Mr. President, we’d like to advise you that an alien species has landed at the front steps of the White House and their emissary would like to see you.”

“Okay, boys, frisk him down and make sure he’s not one of those commie types then send him in…”

“Yes, sir.”

Alien species arrives looking like a cross between a Fridge and Woody Allen…

Taken aback for a second, the president greets the visitor:

“How you ole’ boys doing?”

“Speak naturally, Mr. President. We have a voice synthesizer with built in vocabulary data base attuned to your language and can speak to you in your language—although some of the words you use are considered what is called clichés and street slang.”

“That’s super, trooper. How can I help you boys?”…

“We have traveled far to seek your help!”

“Great! Can you boys use some good ole’ American jobs…”

(A moment’s hesitation!)

“No, we do not need work applicants”…

“How about cars? We’ve got a lot of them! You boys know what cars are?”

“Wait til we scan that into our database.”

“No! We do not use vehicles such as you have that pollute the environment and cause problems…”

(President getting irritated) “Then what can I do for you?”

“We need your help.”

“You said that! You want us to clobber some ole intergalactic trouble-makers. Is that it?”

“NO; nothing like that! We just want you to stop doing what you’re doing.”

“And that is?”

“You and your creatures are poisoning the Galaxy with your by-products…”

“Well, what do you know, my alien friend. What am I supposed to do about it?”

“It would be very respectful to your own planet and those of the Galaxy if you would be kind enough to how you say, cease and desist.”

“Well, I don’t know if we can do that, boys…. You see, we depend on those kind of things as a by-product of what we want…”

“But we can show you how to do it without those by-products…”

“Hey, no out-of-this world assembly line emissaries are going to tell us, Americans what to do! Do you understand?”

“No, don’t mistake our intent, Mr. President. We were asked to send you that message. If you don’t comply, we shall have to take action through the confederation…”

“Give me a break. Take action? Are you boys trying to challenge the good ole USA? You would be Islamists would you? You’re not planning to bomb New York?”

“We don’t know what you mean, Mr. President. All we want to do is be a good neighbor.”

“We’ll, be a good neighbor on your own planet. We don’t have time for some pipsqueak neighbors telling us what to do. Do you know who we are? Do you know that we have the most modern technology…that we could turn our weapons on anyone who opposes us. How do you like those apples, Mr. Intergalactic Visitor, who is trying to tell the world’s leading super-power what to do!”


“Yes, we know who you are, Mr. President. To us, you are a very small and weak planet that we could squash like a bug…And I am growing tired of your unfriendly ways, and your poor management of your own planet and your inability to communicate to us with true words.”

“Woops! We’ll, boys, don’t take my raving and ranting all that seriously. It’s just kind of a joke between you and me. Know what I mean?”

“We have tried to send your people signals to get you to stop your profligate ways; but you do not seem to understand or want to understand. This is our last warning to you. If you do not listen to your people, if you do not respond to the needs of your environment, we will initiate a new species here and mark this one off as one of our leading failed experiments…
Yes, it was we who began the experiments and it will be we who end them if we cannot get it right...
“And don’t foolishly try to turn your weapons on us, or we will decimate you in the blink of any eye. You are an arrogant person, both you and your staff who think that you alone in the Universe are wise enough to make decisions. We have seen your decisions; and every one of them has been wrong for your people, the planet and the Universe. And that is why I have been asked to travel here. You think your technology is powerful; we have traveled hundreds of millions of miles to reach you and we did it in the blink of an eye. Remember that, Mr. Superpower President. I am leaving now. You have been warned.”

“Err….Thank you, kind sir. May I kiss your appendage? I hope you understand that we were being funny—it’s kind of an Earth-thing to do. We hope that you will reconsider.
We are most sorry for offending you and we will see that it doesn’t happen again.”

The stranger looked at the president, shook his head and walked away mumbling something that sounded like “turkey…” as he re-entered his Alien craft for the return voyage, saying nothing before the vehicle disappears in a mist of smoke to the amazement of everyone left on the ground.

The End

Les Aaron
Read and See more at…www.lesaaron.blogspot.com