On The Search for Good News!

We are putting out a request for good news.
If anybody hears any good news we will send out an investigative team and check it immediately. Right now, good news is as scarce as hen's teeth. Sure, there are always rumors making the rounds. People say they have heard some, however, when you try to pin them down, it's clear its some old urban legend or it was just some unfounded rumor that didn't bear out. There are already a number of teams out there, hard at work trying to uncover the sleightest hint of something good going on. It has become very competitive. Someone heard Cheney had a palpitation. Teams fell all over themselves trying to get the goods but it proved groundless. Someone said that Bush's medical was doctored up (pardon the pun) but nobody could prove that either. It was just more of the same. Bad news followed by bad news. At first, we thought that the big Union break-up was going to lead to a big union push politically; but it hasn't happen. Literally there are those of us who haven't smiled in nearly six years. The only way to face one day after another is with medication. In the meantime, we keep looking; we follow up every rumor. At one point, we even believed that justice would be served and that Karl Rove would have the book thrown at him. But that hasn't even panned out even though all of the proof accumulated that Valerie Plame was given up by him. And we thought Reagan was Mr. Teflon. What to do? We here from the Canadian media that there's all kinds of good news up there and they have told us very sympathetically, that they would be willing to share. Of course, that sounds a lot like black mail but some of us are desperate. When we're not looking around for some good news to break the status quo, we talk about the good old days going back to WWII when we rocked the newspapers, magazines and the Pathe News with more good news than anyone could take. Then Nixon came on the scene and everyone immediately lost their sense of humor. And of course, all of the news from Kent State forward was bad. Maybe we could get that French airline to do the same thing it did down here, slip off the run-away and get over 300 people out safe and sound.
It would certainly brighten up the headlines and our day, indeed. But, no, we don't expect it to happen. Well, to tell the truth, a lot of us are on pins and needles. We don't trust NASA and we're worried about the astronauts. If they are returned safely, that would be a good start!...And maybe we could build from there. We could have a good news contest sponsored by Ben and Jerry's or something like that. For now, I guess, we'll have to settle for simpler stuff. Bush getting poop on his shoe; Barbara Bush getting stopped for imitating some whig Revolutionary War General or something like that.
Maybe the old man will puke again in somebody's lap or we could do a Jerry Ford retrospective with Chevvy Chase. That would be worthwhile; but I realize I am grasping for straws here. Oh, well.

Les Aaron
Check out my Blog: lesaaron.blogspot.com